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April 2005
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me and jing pics!
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outing with Jing
MED dinner n dance
malaysia trip
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MeD dinner and dance photos...
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Think i look kinda sun-burnt in the pics..ah well..thank goodness my tan-lines are not that obvious.Had to wear the gown in the halter form n not spagetti or it'll really expose my UGLY UGLY tan-lines.crap.i'm still trying to get rid of em.sigh...tan-through bikinis are bloody expensive and incredibly UGLY. 100bucks for something that ugly???can't bring myself to buy it even though i think i need one.sigh..wish that money really grows on trees...haha
That's us in Acid Bar.
That's me n my bestest friend!!!she's so cute huh!!
Us again!!chio???i'm kidding...haha.dun phuke.
Went out with gillian,meiyi and Jing last fri.Had to meet meiyi before she flies off to chicago this thurs...Had dinner at Taka Coffee Club.
That's me before i tucked into my super greasy beef bourgainour.Found out after the dish came that it's so oily!!!totally regretted ordering.
Chatted for a while and left the restaurant at around 10 plus. Gillian, meiyi and jing are all attached...all blissfully and only recently in love...haiz..only poor me left...nvm!i still lovee my gfs very much!At most, i'll go harrass them in future if i stay unmarried...*evil laugh*
we look disjointed in this photo so we got someone else to take again...
now,that's better huh...
Just like I predicted, we're at the point of no return
We can go backwards, and no corners have been turned
I can't control it, if I sink or if I swim
'Cause I chose the waters that I'm in
And it makes no difference who is right or wrong
I deserve much more than this
'Cause there's only one thing I want
[Chorus]
If it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing but unable to give me anymore
There's no way,You're changing,Cause some things will just never be mine,
You're not in love this time...but it's alright.
I hear you talking, but your words don't mean a thing
I doubt you ever put your heart into anything
It's not much to ask for, to get back what I put in
But I chose the waters that I'm in
And it makes no difference who is right or wrong
I deserve much more than this
'Cause there's only one thing I want
[Chorus]
If it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing but unable to give me anymore
There's no way,You're changing,Cause some things will just never be mine
You're not in love this time...but it's alright.
What's your definition of the one?
What do you really want him to become?
No matter what I sacrifice it's still never enough.
Just like I predictedI will sink before I swim
'Cause these are the waters that I'm in
[Chorus]
If it's not what you're made ofYou're not what I'm looking for
You were willing, but unable to give me anymore
There's no way,You're changing,'Cause some things will just never be mine
You're not in love this time.
Oh, if it's not what you're made of
You're not what I'm looking for
You were willing, but unable to give me anymore
There's no way,You're changing,'Cause some things will just never be mine
You're not in love this time
You're not in love this time
You're not in love this time...
been slacking for 2 days already...terrible huh.Couldn't bring myself to mug and i dunno why.kinda feeling down again maybe.
this wk has been pretty alright. been trying so hard to not think bout him.i guess i can be said to be 'happy'. But it's the kind of happiness that is fleeting and almost superficial. i miss being truly happy and feeling right in life. everything feels wrong. being in sch and attending lectures feel wrong.chatting with friends in the canteen feels wrong. i dunno. i'm confused. been confused for quite some time.so wat's new.
went out with jing,meiyi and gillian today...had a nice long chat with hamid n company at coffee bean taka before that. really fun...had dinner with the gals and a nice chat..great to catch up with friends and finding out what they've been up to. took pictures but they r taking so so super long to upload that i think i can't wait any longer...something's wrong with the internet today...argh!
he's now in tioman..probably just reached on the diving boat. sigh...with everyday that passes, it feels like he's drifting further n further away.soon, he'll be out of sight. great..maybe my life will be back to normal after that n i'll be happy again. feels like i've aged so much.a 30 yr old in a 20 yr old body.sigh..gonna try my best at being happy n not thinking of him this wkend!!!!!! he'll be back on sunday...not going to let him affect me the way he is now...not worth it! yes,he's not worth it.i'll drill that a hundred times in my mind everyday before i sleep.yeah,that's progress right?
really thankful to all my friends for being there for me through this difficult period.
Esp Jing. She has been my pillar of support.Thx gal...without you,i wouldn't noe how else to hold on to life. You've been such a great adjuvant and booster to my immune system...hopefully,i'll recover real soon and be the same old me again!!
Thx hammie..for always making me smile in sch with ur silly goofy grin...thx for being such a dear friend. And thx for being so sweet with the nice rose pin and note. You made me realise that there're so many other people who truly care for me.
Thx asrie...For always being there to listen to my incessant complaints regarding bgr.For always being so concerned about my emotional health. And for tolerating my fickle-mindedness.
Thx daniel..for all ur advice and distractors. You're such a great pal!
Thx Tang..for all ur hypomaniac antics. They cheer me up. Your happiness is infectious. It's a pity i don't see u in sch often, u busy person.
sometimes i still wonder if we do still stand a chance together. Guess that thought will keep bothering me till the day i stop loving him. Time heals all wounds. That saying has been proven and i'm glad for that. And i'm going to leave things the way they are...and stop trying to control how things work out. If we were to end up as strangers in future, den so be it. I'll not regret my decision.
i'm trying so terribly hard to learn to let go of someone...someone whom i've loved and cared for for the past 2 and a half years...it's so terribly difficult that i usually end up so depressed when i think of all the happy memories together. Guess i've to learn to accept the fact that it's really over and there's no turning back...to draw a conclusion to such a long relationship is painful to say the least. i'm fighting myself everyday...i'm fighting the addiction to him..i'm fighting my love for him...and most of all,i'm fighting for a happier life... i just want to be happy again...wonder how that feels like..haven't felt happy for more than a month...
why isn't there a manual that teaches people how to forget someone?? why must i learn it the hard way myself?? wish there's something in life that could make me happy right now...maybe i should get a dog...haha...it's loyal and cute..it listens to me..and i get to see it whenever i want to...you can say that i'm a control freak.i'm not denying that...cos i know i am...
maybe that's why i'm finding it so hard to let go...i'm still trying to control this failed relationship...sigh...wish i could love him a lot lesser and love myself a lot more...yeah..that's rite! i need to love myself a lot more!!!! why should i suffer like that over someone who's so passive and not even missing me?? is he even half as affected?? why?? does losing me mean anything to him?? he's not worth my pain...hope he realises that i'm really walking out on him this time...
alright...enough venting for tonight...sch's tmr...long day...sigh sigh sigh...wish i could take a holiday to a faraway place....
How I wish I could surrender my soul
Shed the clothes that become my skin
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same
it just keeps me from trouble
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say,
but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words
it's just tears and rain.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind
Hold memory close at hand
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same
it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say,
but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away
find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same
it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words
it's just tears and rain.
life has come to a standstill for me...been depressed for wks...the reason is obvious...my love life is in ruins.. HA HA...what's new anyway..problems that bug adolescents- love life,academics,family and money... ah well...
it hurts so much to love someone that i don't think i'll ever allow myself to fall for anyone again...no more bgr for me..and yes,i've decided to stay single all my life..think life's a lot simpler and happier like that..just hoping that my wounds will heal asap and they won't be hurting me any longer..i'm so sick and tired of all these crap..sighhh...i'm alright i guess,except for the fact that i haven't really found my appetite...been eating so little everyday..think i lost another kg..losing weight has never been easier..everyone's complaining that i'm getting too skinny and i know that i am getting too skinny but i can't really help it...even jianhong,whom i'm not close to, has been giving me little snacks...but seriously,i think i've lost interest in eating...make sense? haha..but being a medical student, i know what is needed to stay alive so i stick to the min required..that's good huh..i'm not turing anorexic!!! so to my friends out there, don't worry yah...i'll try to get my appetite back again soon....
lots of stuff to mug..lots of class stuff to settle...great..they keep my mind off the troubles and sadness...that's what i need..shall turn into a workaholic from now on...need more money to sustain my shopping sprees..it's the only thing that's keeping me happy now..superficial, i know..but i can't help it...
i was pretty busy for the past week..been trying hard to read the book that ningyan bought for me!haha! it's a simple bk that teaches the basics for conversing in malay!!that's absolutely what i intend to learn this hols..grinz...betw,hammie and asrie,hav u guys found a chinese teacher yet??can approach me for help if u guys wanna learn chinese k...i'll tutor u both for FREE!! i'm nice rite??haha...
had no time to post some of the pictures that jing n i took during our last outing...i noe...i seem to post pics of only the limited few pple!ah well...can't be help!i'm not really a picture-fanatic person..(unlike you,siti...haha)
Anyway,me and jing went out the day before i lost my wallet...had a great time with her!!then again,we always enjoy each other's company...heee...
took this at the taka fountain...haha...posing like some tourist nuts!as usual,i had a few shots with really bad aiming...gave up in the end so tis is taken by jing! look like sisters???
jing wearing my new white jacket...the one that i bought from malaysia..haha! the jacket went super well with her outfit huh!gorgeous!
and tis is my newest and most darling bag!!!!!nice n shiny!haha!loveeeee it!yay!
we went to indochine for a lil drink...great place with superb live music!!
and these are the 2 drinks tt we ordered...they come with really cute names too...sex on the beach(left) and cosmopolitan(right)!! funny huh....
wanna say that i miss u hell of a lot gal!!!even when i'm having fun now,i still think of u quite a bit...wondering how u r and if the situation ure in(u noe what...) has brightened up for u! what's life without my best friend?? haha...don't worry,ningyan won't be jealous when he reads this...heeee...he's having his own lil fun without his nagging gf right now too!
well, i went out with ningyan after having lunch at his hse...his mum prepared poh piah!and mann...i simply lovee poh piah!haha!so i had a great time wrapping my very own poh piah...yay!ate 4 rolls i think...yummy delicious! so after lunch, we went out...we were at Cathay Cineleisure to catch Starwars..it was the 9plus show..the movie was indeed fabulous,even for a non-starwars fan like me! after the movie,we rushed to sommerset stat to catch the last train back and oh mann...that was when i realised that my wallet was missing!!!!!! ARGH!!so we walked all the way back to Cathay...
the counter crew tried to help us locate my missing wallet by contacting the cleaners but to no avail..we even went back in the theatre in the company of an usher to look for my wallet...as they were already showing the next starwars,it was dark so we needed a torchlight!didn't find my naughty wallet anywhere...think someone must have picked it up! so we left the theatre..i was sooooo sad...i have so many cards in my wallet,including my IC,ATM card and EZ LINK...it was depressing when i thought of all the trouble i have to go through to replace them...so we sat out there for an hour plus and my poor bf had to console me!grinz...he's a real darling i must say!!!loveee you for being so sweet, dear!
decided to report the loss of my IC at the nearest police post that night...so we walked to orchard police post from Cathay..and guess what!! my shoe broke along the way...MANNN!can you believe my bad luck??????????haha! the strap broke so it's impossible to walk in them anymore...this was when my darling bf came to the rescue again!haha! he piggy-backed me most of the way there...thank goodness there was hardly anyone around at that time....hahaha!!think that ranks as one of the sweetest things he has ever done for me...really touched!!
well,was quite depressed so i didn't blog for days...but thank goodness for that honest person who picked up my wallet!he or she actually turned in my wallet to Nanyang police post in jurong west!haha!was sooo relieved when i received the call from the police...yippeeee!!!heee...and so, i went down yesterday to collect my precious wallet...wow!glad that there are still honest pple around us!
so the lesson learnt is to always check your belongings when you leave a place!always check!!!i've jolly well learnt my lesson!grinz...and also,do leave your IC at home if you do not need it...it will set you back by 100 bucks if you replace it!
so here's a short summary of my trip...shall add pics to make my summary even shorter!heee(i'm not really a big fan of writing!)
Day 1-Sat
Left Singapore with Hammie,Adila and Siti..had to trouble my dad's employee to send us to a bus stat in Larkin cos my dad doesn't know the way!so it's the 4 of us...plus asrie and Boredin(Boredin went in Asrie's car)! There was a really bad traffic jam at the woodlands checkpoint..we were moving at 1m every 5 min!!and so,the legendary sat evening traffic jam there is really true!Despite the bad jam,we managed to reach Larkin bus terminal before the boarding time..so we had dinner at MACS!It's the meeting point for the 6 of us you see..
me(centre) ,adila(right) and siti(left) at MACS!
we boarded the bus at 8pm...it was a really comfortable ride even though the driver was speeding like mad!!mann...he was driving a break-neck speeds even when turning!!haha
Day 2-Sunday
We reached Kuantan bus terminal in early morning..around 1plus am!had supper at a coffee shop nearby and i ordered my fav fav TEA TARIK!!!haha...i simply LOVEEE tea tarik...yummy!walked ard kuantan after supper and we decided to spend the night in a nearby hotel!the guys wanted to sleep in the lobby to save money but the we managed to dissuade them..so in the end,we booked into one room and slept till late morning!
had breakfast cum lunch at another coffee shop...i ordered 2 roti prata and mannn..the prata were HUGE!!!haha...managed to finish only 1 and 1/3!felt really bad bout wasting food..esp when the prata was delicious!
We checked out of the hotel after breakfast..and gosh,we were lucky to have spotted the bus on our way out..you see,it's an hourly bus!can't afford to miss!
me n siti on the bus to Cherating!Cherating,here we come!!!
reached Cherating in the afternoon..walked for a short distance to the Legends resort..the rooms are comfortable and cosy!grinz...
class pic at the balcony!
rested till dinnertime...had a great seafood dinner at Peninsular Seafood restaurant,which is really near our resort..ordered so much food! had chilli crabs,steamed prawns,sweet and sour fish,thai toufu,chicken with cashew nut!yummy!
we went back to our rooms after dinner and celebrated hammie's birthday!me,adila and siti had gone out before dinner secretly to buy some slices of cake for this occassion!it was a blueberry cheesecake!LOVELY!grinz...took lots of pics too!
started filming our horror movie that night!you see,harti and adila have worked out a script for a nice horror movie before this trip...haha!funny huh..but we decided that it would be a nice momento of this trip so we decided to do it!first to die in the movie was originally me..it was supposed to be a bathroom scene..i managed to talk boredin into exchanging roles with me so he took my place and became the first to die...shall not go into details bout the movie...heee...but in all,filming was fun!had lots of 're-takes'and bloopers!heehee
Day 3-Monday
woke up really late in the morning..had lunch at peninsular restaurant again!think the auntie was so touched that we went back again that she gave boredin a free bowl of rice!haha!had fun teasing bored bout tis!
finally got to go to the beach!mann...Cherating's beaches are impeccable!!the beauty is awesome!!!haha!
the pic doesn't do the beach justice!trust me,the scenery is REALLY beautiful!
played beach volleyball there for a while...well well...kept telling the guys not to dunk me but ah well...what can i say!i was the only gal they could dunk!haha!so what happened was...the volleyball flew out and landed in the swimming pool..i ran after the ball and was just about to shout for the guys to swim out for the ball when hammie sneaked up behing me and literally dragged and pushed me into the pool!!!ARGH!!!haha!
After dinner,we went back to the hotel...goaded bored to sing at a club and he actually agreed!haha!so all of us bought drinks to enter the club and bored asked the performers for permission to sing...it was really nice..had it all filmed down..mann...was serenaded by bored's good singing!grinz...he sang 'somewhere out there'!a nice and slow song that i love!way to go,bored!!!heeee
Day 4-Tues
left Cherating in the morning by taking the same public bus back to kuantan..grinz!from kuantan,we took a coach to KL..slept most of the way there cos i was soo tired..hee..
arrived at Pudu bus stat at KL..walked a short distance to our next hotel!it's the swiss inn!do not get fooled by the name for it is a budget hotel with really really...i mean REALLY tiny rooms!haha!was pretty shocked to see the rooms..smallest hotel room i've ever seen..hardly any space to walk around!bleh...the bathroom was horrible too!with yellowish water and standing showers..mann..sad..there was even cigarette smoke in the gals' room!ARGH!shall stop bitching bout the rooms now..no choice right..we gotta save money!haha!the only redeeming point bout the hotel is that it is located right in the heart of chinatown!woo hoo!that means a bustling night market full of cheapo stuff!heeee
went walking around after resting..we found a nice cosy indian restaurant for dinner!had really nice naan!for those ignorant ones,naan is similar to roti prata..type of pastry that is eaten together with curry!yummy!lovee it!had tandoori chicken to go along with it too..i made a big boo boo when ordering my drink though.i wanted teh tarik but since it was really stuffy and hot,i wanted an iced drink!sooo...i ordered iced teh tarik!the waiter stared at me really 'funnily'...hammie quickly corrected me by ordering an iced teh...hahaha!!get it??'tarik' actually means a pulling action..it's wat the vendor do cool off the hot teh slightly before serving..so there's no such thing as iced teh tarik!ARGH!!!so embarrassed!
walked around central market after dinner...grinz..bought many personalized keychains and bookmarks for my dear friends,sis and cousin in singapore!was too tired to continue shopping at the night market after that..we bought lychees there and then went back to our rooms to retire for the night.
Day 5-wed
woke up early to explore KL..took malaysia's MRT and LRT to Berjaya times square!there's a HUGE indoor theme park there...haha!all of us enjoyed ourselves and sat on almost all the thrill rides...siti was complaining though...haha!had to drag her onto most of the rides!poor gal!but i'm sure she had fun too!
went shopping after that...hee..went to 2 shopping malls and mann...there are simply too many shops!!!!!they are like 4 far east plaza combined!haha!had very little time to shop though so i only had time to buy wat i always wanted!
lovely white jacket,don't u think??goes with anything!yay!lovee it!
finally bought a nice FCUK shirt!!!!!!!!!!Gorgeous!!!!yay!
mann...blogging the whole trip is getting too tiring..i need to sleep!there's sch tomorrow..*groan* the rest of my pics can be found at the link on the right!yawn...maybe i'll continue tomorrow...hee..tata!
Read part of her blog too..and found out that it is actually real easy to make collages from photographs!wow!i tried out that with my computer,using photos that i took with jing...lots of fun!haha!maybe i'm just a 'mouontain tortise' huh..who is generally blur with IT stuff..shan't bother denying that!haha!
cool huh!selected some of my fav pics for this collage!wonder if i can print it out looking like that at a photo shop....hmmmm...
notice the difference??i used 'warmify' enhancing tool for this...it warms up the pic by enhancing the skin tones...nice!
This comes with a bluish-green or greenish-blue...watever.. tint!
Now,for a purplish-pink tint! girly..but i loveee it!haha
And finally,the never-go-out-of-date sepia tint!Lovely!
Ran 4km in the morning session and 5km in the afternoon session.Do your math..that's a total of whooping 9km today!!!!mann...it's unprecedented!alright,i may have ran more when i was training in track but this....this is purely from self-motivation!!See guys...JLo pics do help!!I'm soo proud of myself,Jing! You know how much i hate running long distance! Think 80% of my leg muscles are pure white muscles(sprinter muscles).So this is really a BIG accomplishment!
I'm feeling skinnier already!haha!Great!I shall try to continue running like that tomorrow.I'm trying to run off as much calories as possible before my malaysia trip on Sat...I'll probably eat like mad during the trip...Ah...all the good food! Who'll be able to resist???? heee
Watched the Interpretor at Lido..a pretty good show,i'd say.Really deep and has a complicated plot!I find the pace of the movie a lil too fast for me to understand the plot fully...haha..i know hamid and asrie will say that that's becos it's me watching! bleh...i don't care..it's still complicated!but it's a nice show...and Nicole Kidman is super duper chio!!!Beautiful to bits even without much makeup in the movie!!
Nicole Kidman looking ridiculously beautiful and classy even in specs!!!life is indeed unfair!!!!
went around looking for tankinis after tea at our fav coffee place..mann...nike tankinis are so expensive!!a hefty 90plus bucks!gosh!!!y must gals pay so much more than guys for swim wear????unfair!!looked around in taka dept store too...lots of swim wear there too...n i really mean lots n lots!!haha!found another nice one which costs around 60bucks...sigh..still ex!haiz...decided to stick to my bikini!shall not swim during the malaysia trip then!argh!bleh....
got home really late tonight...yawnz!shall stay home tmr...too tired to go out anymore!haha...shall make up for eating all the good food these past few days by exercising twice tmr...!!!heee..with determination,i'll succeed in dragging myself down to the gym!!!haha!
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